The Effects of Being Thrown Out of a Closet: Kyle
by In The Mix
Summary: Kyle is unexpectedly thrown out of the closet. Watch him as he goes down a path leading to love, loss, drugs and aliens? KyMan with some K2 and hints of Cutters. Under reconstruction soon.
1. Revealed

Chapter one- Revealed

It was a nice autumn day, the weather crisp and cold. Usually, this was the time of year the girls of South Park, Colorado would start putting on more clothes to stay warm but recently an odd trend had started and they were starting to wear less and less. Now at the peak of the trend it came to the point where almost every girl wore only mini skirts so short you could tell the most that the girls wore were thongs, if that, and halter tops so sheer you could tell if the girl you were looking at was cold or not.

It seemed that the girls were becoming more slut like every passing day. Their dress affecting their behavior as well as more sexual inneundos and passes were made at an alarming rate.

As most of the boys were rembering the last time the trend hit town shivered in fear. The possibility of them being raped was at an all time high and were only saved from the Paris Hilton wannabes by . However, as the trend wore on teenage hormones won out against scarring memories and the boys became more appreciative towards the girls new apparel, all the straight boys that is.

* * *

"Hey guys, sex party at my house!" Bebe shouted one day at lunch, "I will be personally inviting and servicing all the guys at my party!" She looked around and saw the first guy she wanted to invite on the outdoor stage giving a speech to become student body president, so she shouted, "Kyle, my house, sex party on Saturday be there at 8 and I'll give you the time of your life."

Everyone within ear shot heard this and started to watch to see what he would say. They really didn't care for the response as they knew the probable answer. What straight single teenaged male would turn down an offer like that? Especially from one of the hottest girls in school.

"Umm, Bebe this isn't the time to really ask, I'm kind of busy, thanks for the invite but I won't be attending. Sorry." Kyle responded and he was about to start his speech again but Bebe was mad about the rejection so she yelled back for all to hear, "I bet you aren't going because you're gay!"

Kyle immediately turned beat red at the accusation and he didn't realized he blushed until it was too late because Bebe, being the rather loud gossip that she was, shrieked, "Oh my god, he's gay!" Turning to the rest of the crowd Bebe yelled, "Hey everybody, Kyle Broflaski is gay!" She wasn't the most sensitive or tactful person around, that was for sure.

Kyle was so embarrassed as people started to laugh. He noticed that Eric Cartman was among the loudest of the crowd. He ran off the stage with tears streaming down his face. He knew this would happen one day and he even knew that Cartman would be one of the loudest laughing at him but then why did he feel so surprised that this happened? Why did he feel betrayed? Hurt?

Stan watched silently as Kyle ran off the stage. He was in shock because he had never guessed his super best friend was gay. He knew he was dense but shouldn't he have been able to tell at least that? It wasn't only shock though, he felt a little offended that Kyle hadn't told him sooner. That Kyle hadn't trusted him enough to tell him. He thought that they had no secrets from each other!

Cartman came up from behind laughing his ass off saying, "Ha, Stan, I told you that fucking Jew rat was a fag!"

Stan turned around to glare at him. He was about to make a hostile remark when he noticed a strange look in the fat asses face that he couldn't place and before he could remark upon it Cartman continued, "I can't miss the chance to get to him while it's fresh, see ya."

Cartman then walked away quickly before he could stop him. Unnoticed by Cartman, Kenny was following him.

* * *

**Original A/N:**

I was watching the South Park episode "Stupid spoiled Whore Video Play set" and I got a great idea for a Cartman/ Kyle slash. I'm placing it when they're sixteen, this is my second yaoi so be nice! Disclaimer I don't own South Park the show or city (yes there is an actual S.P, Colorado.)

**Edited A/N:**

Hey guys, long time no see. I realize how bad this got and so before I continue I'm so re-doing some things. I'm not going to start anew so I'm just going to salvage what I can and hope for the best.

If you're just joining this story really ignore the later chatpers. I'm going to be cutting alot before I continue and I mean ALOT. Thank you to everyone who stayed with me all these years and if there's something you want me to keep or any changes you would like to see now would be the time to tell me. Thank you.

**9 June 2011**


	2. Falling into the Depths

Chapter 2

Kyle had made it of the school before everyone found out. Although he knew that by tomorrow everyone would know, and he could probably just kiss the election good bye, in a small town like this everyone treated gays oddly. That's why Mr. Slave and Big Gay Al left town when they became a couple.

He got to the student parking lot and headed to his car. For his sixteenth birthday he had gotten a car and since his father was a good lawyer he a new car instead of a used one that most people got. As he pulled out his keys he thanked god that he no longer had to take the bus and suffer the humiliating ride home that would have happened. He felt bad about leaving Stan and Kenny without a ride but at that moment he needed to get out of there before everyone knew and was sure they would understand.

The door finally opened and he got in but his vision was so blurred from the tears that were threatening to spill out that he had to sit there for a few minutes so his eyes could clear without him crying. He put the keys in the ignition and was about to pull out when Cartman came running out of the school with his new found muscles he acquired when he lost all of his excess fat and despite everything that, that asshole had done to him, Kyle couldn't help but look at him and feel a wave of lust that sped up his heart, he sat there for a moment while the feeling consumed him for a moment. Cartman waved his arms frantically trying to signal Kyle not to leave but Kyle didn't feel like putting up the snide remarks and insults he knew that were to come if he let the fat ass in.

Kyle quickly pulled out of the parking lot and drove home, leaving the German boy in the dust looking at the car getting smaller and smaller. Cartman was filled with an emotion he could not fully understand as he stood there looking at the Jewish boy's car disappear in the distance.

Cartman turned around to head back to the cafeteria. He was almost back inside when he was pulled into a shadowy rook that was off to the side. He was pushed against the wall and held up by the scruff of his shirt, Cartman knew who it was before he was turned around because there was only one person in the whole school who was able to do this to him now that he had bulked up. He was facing Kenny who still wore an orange parka that still muffled his voice but was as always very understandable, "You will not hurt, Kyle, understand?" Kenny pressed on Eric's throat with his elbow so the little Nazi would get the message.

Cartman nodded and replied, "Why the fuck would you care, I thought poor people hated gays." Kenny just glared in response and hit the fat lard in the face.

"I am warning you once and that is it, if you so much as make him cry I will hurt you." With that he left Cartman there, dumbfounded.

Cartman started to wonder what the hell was going on with Kenny. _Did he and Kyle have something going on I'm not aware of but that doesn't matter_ he thought because he would never hurt Kyle about this, ever. He was walking to go inside by this point and stopped dead in his tracks, _wait, why wouldn't I give Kyle shit about this? I give him shit about everything and accuse him of being a fag every other day and yet why wouldn't I do anything about it?_ Still worrying about this fluke that occured in his internal thoughts, Cartman returned to his classes for the rest of the day pretending that nothing out of the ordinary had happened.

Kyle pulled into his drive way and was glad that his parents and Ike were away for the next two weeks for Ike's Genius Children Convention in Canada. He ran from his warm and toasty car to the house. He got inside quickly, slammed the door shut and ran up to his room to wallow in self pity. He thought he was so naïve for lusting and in a way falling in love with the boy who he had argued with for most of his life and began mentally beating himself. He thought that he was bound to screw up his life no matter what he did, if he came on to _The Nazi Fat _Ass he'd be mocked and everyone would think he was perverted for loving that which he knows if Cartman could get away with it, kill him or then he thought maybe, he could stay away from Eric but then he would suffer on the inside and become depressed.

All of the possible outcomes he could foresee were bouncing in his head and he couldn't bear it any longer, he needed a release. For the first time in his life Kyle took pain meds when they weren't needed to dull everything around him, so he wouldn't have to feel.

He popped three into his mouth and swallowed them without drinking anything. He mopped around his room for about thirty minutes until the meds kicked in and when they did he fell into the abyss of nothingness and didn't care if he ever came out again.

* * *

Authors note: Please don't hate me for doing that to Kyle, it's what popped into my head and I just typed it. Please leave reviews and I will be adding as soon as possible but I have finals coming up so I don't know how often I can come back to this. But it won't be longer than 2-3 weeks if that.


	3. The worse day ever

I'd like to thank everyone who gave me inspiration for this next chapter, you know who you are. I beg everyone for reviews so I can make the story better. Enjoy the chapter!

* * *

Kyle spent the rest of the night lying in bed trying to put what he would have to go through tomorrow out of his mind. He finally fell asleep around 3 in the morning, tears streaming down from his eyes.

He woke up before his alarm went off even though he only got three hours of sleep. He looked down at the wrinkled up clothes he wore the day before and slowly changed into what he would wear that day including his green hat that he always wore. He finally looked out the window and say that the sky was it's usual cloudy gray but today he could have sworn it had a slight electric charge to it as if the weather some how knew what he was anticipating the day to be like.

Kyle waited until he couldn't wait any longer and went to his car so he wouldn't be late for school. Like he planned it, he got to school just as the bell rang so no one would be in the halls to gawk at him as he passed in the hallways. He forgot he needed to stop at his locker so he ended up a little late to homeroom.

They just finished the pledge when he finally entered the room. As everyone sat down, seeming to not notice Kyle because the flag was facing opposite to him and the door, he slipped into the back of the room. Cartman however had noticed Kyle's arrival and with out thinking, Cartman stuck his foot and ended up tripping him as he would have done any other day. The clatter of Kyle falling alerted everyone to his presence and they all started to stare at him as if he were a new oddity they had never seen before.

The teacher cleared his throat and said "Mr. Broflaski, if you can't get to class on time like the rest of us at least be quite. Hurry up and get to your seat or I'll give you detention." Everyone in the class smirked because until that day Kyle was the teacher's favorite and was the only student who was called by his first name rather than his last.

As Kyle got up Cartman noticed something was off beat with Kyle's movements and expressions, a sort of weariness he only ever saw on his mother when she was hung over from whatever sort of drugs she took and still had a bad night. Cartman looked at Kyle wondering why he had noticed that and stared to long because Kyle noticed this and apparently as well as the rest of the class was gawking at him fore, the Jew yelled to everyone who was in the class, "Take a picture, it'll last longer!"

He stalked to his seat next to Stan, slammed his books onto the desk and sat down. "You have earned yourself a detention, see me after class!" Kyle thought, _well at least my seat is in the back of the class so no one could stare at me easily and Stan will understand why I didn't tell him, he'll cheer me up._ He turned to talk to Stan about this but Stan was as rigid as a block, staring intently at the empty white board at the front of the classroom. Kyle attempted to start a conversation many times but Stan stone walled him out every time, his eyes never deviating from the blank board that lay ahead.

Kyle stood up as the bell rang, got his detention and went to his first period. Every class was almost identical to his homeroom except the rest of his teachers didn't give him detention. "A slight sliver of silver lining on the worst day ever," Kyle muttered to himself as he went to lunch. As he entered the cafeteria it seemed as if someone had hit a magic button so that suddenly everyone turned down the volume so that the loudest they could talk was in a whisper. Everyone was giving him strange looks, especially the guys who looked slightly menacing as he walked to his normal table. As he was sitting down everyone stood up and left to go to another table except Wendy who was still dating Stan, Kenny and Cartman.

Wendy wiggled over to Kyle and gave him a giant bear hug from the side. For the first time since yesterday he smiled at her compassion and then looked down at Wendy. He had to bend his head to look into her eyes to say "Thank you, you have no idea how much I needed that."

Wendy just smiled, she was the only one not going with the trend like the last time it was going around and said, "Well I know what it's like to be an outcast because you're not like everyone else and I knew if I were going through what you were I would need a hug," she shrugged and started unwrapping her lunch.

Although Wendy was talking to him, Kenny and Cartman remained in an uncharacterized silence. Both of them felt pangs of pain when Kyle winced because he caught sight of Stan who was still acting as cold as an ice burg toward him. Wendy noticed this, she shot a glare at Stan and said, "Don't worry he'll come around eventually, it was just a shock you know?"

Everyone remained in silence at the table until Cartman couldn't take it any more because he had come up with to much material to let it go and was spoiling for a fight between Kyle and himself, he realized over the years that he actually liked fighting with Kyle and had no idea as to why, he just couldn't put his finger on it.

"Hey Fag, how do you get a gay man to scream? Fuck him and then rub your dick on his flower curtains." Cartman started laughing hysterically at his own joke.

"Shut up fat boy, I'm warning you." Kyle stood up towering over Cartman's sitting form. Cartman continued laughing hysterically and everyone who was in hearing distance was laughing hysterically with him as well, save Wendy and Kenny who were glaring at everyone else. Kyle turned around to face the entire cafeteria and shouted to the audience who was now watching him "If you have a problem with me being gay, take it up with me or leave me the fuck alone!" Kyle sat back down and started to eat his lunch and eventually Cartman and the rest stopped laughing when they caught sight of Kyle's murderous glares at them. They all were silent until the end of lunch, even Cartman who still had loads of material left.

* * *

As Cartman was going to his next class he wondered why he didn't start bagging on Kyle when he saw it annoyed him, which was usually when it was the funniest time to do so. _Maybe there's some sort of Jew magic at work here_ he thought a booming voice in his head that sounded like him when he spoke but then a tiny little part of him he never heard speak to him before that had a high pitched sound to his speech said _or maybe you felt bad for him and didn't want to hurt his feelings any more than they already were. _The other part of his brain argued, _since when do his feelings matter to me? It's not like I care about him, I don't love anybody. _The tiny voice was growing larger and deepening when it said, _or maybe that's exactly what's happening .Maybe you do care for him more than a friend, maybe you even love him in a way because you yourself are gay. _Cartman's eyes widened and thought, _that's impossible!_ But the voice already had a come back to this and said _Think about it, why have you never had a girlfriend even though the hottest babes in this school throw themselves at you since you became first string varsity running back? _He thought back _well they're all whores who have no self respect. _That was a lame response by his standards and he knew it before the voice said, _that's lame, since when have you cared about shit like that? _By this time the tiny voice sounded exactly like him and was the main talker in his brain while the once mighty voice he always listened to was so soft that he could barely hear it over the new voice. The conversation only lasted about a minute but after that his life was changed and thanks to his epiphany he now knew why he had done all the things he had over the years and went to his next class knowing he loved Kyle his old time enemy.

* * *

Kyle was approaching his last class of the day, Gym. This was the class he was worried over the most all day. He was thinking of all the possible mishaps that could happen, then he added in his hick of a teacher was and the prospect of gym seemed much worse then it did two minutes ago. He walked to his locker that held his gym clothes. He looked around and noticed that none of the other guys in his row were undressing. He unlocked his locker and was about to take his shirt off when the P.A. for the locker rooms said in a nasally voice "Kyle Broflaski, you are to come to the PE coaches office immediately, and bring your gym clothes with you." Kyle got his clothes, slammed his locker shut and glared at all the boys who weren't changing just because of him. _It's ridiculous, I've seen them change every school day in the locker room since the beginning of junior high and never even checked them out! I don't even like any of them like that! _Kyle thought these things angrily as he walked to the coach's office.

When he got to the coach's office, his hick, he made a slight adjustment; his dick of a PE teacher was waiting for him. He looked as mean as ever but there was a slight gentleness in his look that was out of place in his face.

"The other students have requested that you change where you could not see them as it makes them uncomfortable to get undressed in front of someone who would look at them like a sexual object. I can't believe they are changing the protocol of my locker rooms but it wasn't up to me. These boys are just homophobic and you pay them no mind, but you will have to change in the bathroom stalls from now on, I'm sorry." The coach said all this in a rough voice and when he finished Kyle was in shock. Of all his teachers he thought this one would be the worst in the way he treated him but he acted as he always had towards Kyle maybe a little nicer but still his rough usual self, that was then he could say for his other teachers, they didn't treat him badly but just differently and it really got on Kyle's nerves.

"Fine," Kyle said and walked out of the office and into the bathroom to change. The rest of class went as he expected, it was to cold to go outside so they ended up playing dodge ball inside and he was the target of most of the hits, even when he was out. Kyle noticed that although Stan shared this class with him he wouldn't talk to him but at least he wasn't hitting making Kyle his target.

After school Kyle was walking out of the locker room when a large group of boys circled him so he couldn't escape. There weren't many people around so no one came to break up the group that had formed. The leader of the group was a senior who used to make fun of him and his class mates in the fourth grade, he was the leader of the fifth graders back then but now he was just another senior who felt like taking up an old past time. The senior said "Have you ever heard of a gay bash, faggot?" At those words the circle grew tighter as the people approached him and though Kyle had become a black belt in the Israeli martial are Krav Maga, there were too many of them surrounding him. Kyle got in a few good punches and kicks but he was soon over powered by the amount of people and his own will power dying as each blow killed a little something inside of him until he felt like an empty shell.

When they finished they left Kyle lying in a bloody heap on the concrete. Kyle just lay there for a while and when the sun was about to set he got achingly up and went to his car thanking God he didn't get any broken bones of fractures. When he drove up to his drive way he saw a shadowed figure sitting on his door step. He was debating if he should pull out and drive on or see who it was when the person made a Spock peace sign with his hands and knew that it was Stan. He decided to stay so he got out of his car and walked to where Stan was sitting.

When Kyle finally made it to his door he didn't look at Stan and went inside. Stan followed Kyle into the house and was about to speak when Kyle turned around and Stan saw Kyle's bloody clothes and face clearly. Stan gasped at the horror of it all and Kyle said "what do you want? I thought you weren't talking to me any more."

"Dude what happened?"

"Some assholes thought it would be fun to have a gay bash after school. Why are you here? I thought you were mad at me." Kyle started to walk up stairs to get cleaned up, it was an obvious dismissal but Stan followed anyway.

"I wasn't mad at you, just hurt that you didn't tell me before. Ok I was mad that you didn't trust me, I thought we were best friends."

"It's not that I didn't trust you, it's just I wasn't ready to come out of the closet yet and wanted to wait until we went to college and got out of South Park before I told anybody." They were silent for a long time and it was only disturbed when Kyle hissed as he put the anti-septic stuff on his wounds.

Stan went downstairs as Kyle went to change into a clean pair of sweat pants that were to serve as his pajamas. Kyle went downstairs after taking some pain meds, to find Stan sitting on the couch. Stan looked up as Kyle entered the room and he noticed Kyle's abs had become much defined and looked nice on his friend's six foot four inch body.

"So are we cool?" Stan asked nervously.

"Yeah we're cool just never distrust my friendship again, you know you're my best friend and I don't know what I would do without you."

"I know and I'm sorry for the way I acted." Stan and Kyle did a guy hug and then Stan left.

Kyle went back upstairs and took more pain meds. He had taken a total of six pills for pain, three for the physical and three for the mental. Although he and Stan made up it was still one of the worse days of his life and he just wanted to forget it. He did his homework and went to a dreamless sleep feeling numb and yearning for someone warm to wrap their arms around him and be held, unaware that across the small town a German boy was dreaming about doing just that.


	4. Good bye

Over the next two weeks things started to settle down about Kyle being gay. People didn't gay bash him anymore or whisper behind his back but they still treated him differently, although once the shock of it was over more and more girls started hanging around him and started treating him as one of the girls. The boys of the town resented him for it so the only males he talked to that were his age were Stan, Kenny and Cartman. Even though his predicaments improved Kyle was still depressed because he knew he could never have the one thing he truly wanted so he continued to take the pain killers. He found himself taking more and more because after awhile his body started to become resistant to them so he now took four at night and two before school, he had become addicted in the short time and couldn't stop even if he wanted to. No one noticed though as he took more and more or so Kyle thought but unknown to him Cartman saw his growing weariness and guessed correctly as to what he was doing.

When the second week was over his parents and Ike finally came home from the convention that they went to. Kyle was nervous when he heard the keys rattle outside because he decided that he would tell his parents he was gay before the rest of the town could. His parents and brother walked in and closed the door.

"Hello bubby how was it here while we were gone?" Kyle's mother asked.

"Fine mom but I need to tell you and dad something." Kyle started but Kyle's mother continued as if he hadn't heard him speak.

"The convention was nice and Ike won the IQ bowl. It was nice until we got back and it was the strangest thing, it seems the second we got off the plane everyone started whispering when they saw us, I wonder why. Kyle has something unusual happened while we were gone?"

"Well as a matter of fact, something did happen."

"What happened Kyle? Is anyone hurt?" Kyle's father asked, joining in on the conversation.

"No, but I have to tell you something," Kyle bit his lip and then continued, "Mom, dad, I'm gay and that's wh-"He was cut short by his mother.

"WHAT? WHAT? WHAT?!" Shelia Broflaski exclaimed. "My child a fagella? This isn't happening, its societies fault, I'll just have to…" But Kyle stopped her before she could continue because he knew what this path would lead to and he had grown a back bone against his mother since he was eight so that they wouldn't have another war with Canada type of fiasco ever again.

"Mom its no ones fault, I was born like this and I have known I was gay since I was twelve." At this his mother burst into tears, his father wrapped his arms around her, comforting her. Ike just walked upstairs because the news wasn't a shocker, he had guessed many years ago as to what Kyle was and this was just confirmation but something seemed off about Kyle to him but he just shrugged it off, thinking it was nothing, at least at first.

Over the next few days things at Kyle's house were frantic because Kyle's mother broke into tears every time she saw her biological son and his father was always silent but didn't do anything else to show his discomfort with his son being gay. His parents eventually got over it in a month or so, but they would never bring up the subject so when they brought it up the day before winter break began he was shocked to hear his mother ask him, "Kyle, do you have a boyfriend?"

"Umm, no why?" Kyle replied.

"Well your father and I decided to go to see my sister for Hanukah this year and have agreed that you are old enough to stay home alone if you want."

"What about Ike?"

"He was invited to go skiing in Aspen and we decided to let him go."

"Cool, but what does anything have to do with me having a boyfriend or not?"

"Well we wanted to know if we could trust you by yourself and we wanted to tell you that you're not allowed to do any funny business under our roof and no wild parties." His father interjected.

"I promise I won't, not like I have many friends anymore any way." Kyle muttered the last part to himself.

"Oh good, well we'll leave you some money for food and we are leaving tomorrow at noon." With that Kyle's mother got up and left the room, his father following close behind. Kyle was going to go up to his room to take his meds when Ike came in. Kyle paused at the door upon catching Ike's look that was out of place.

"What?" Kyle asked as his brother continued the look that looked like he was trying to enter Kyle's soul.

"I've just noticed we've got a stronger brand of aspirin than normal even though we just had a full bottle of the stuff less than a week ago. You know why that is?"

"I don't know, maybe mom's PMSing hardcore or something." Kyle said calmly but in his mind he was freaking out, hoping his brother hadn't figured out his addiction.

"Yeah, maybe." Ike sounded like he was trying to convince himself out of something and continued, "Well mom and dad are dropping me off when they leave so I just wanted to say good bye before I leave, so bye."

"'Kay, good bye Ike." He gave his brother a hug and whispered to him, "I've covered so much of your shit up for you, if you find anything, not that there is anything to find out but if you happen to find something you better let it go," Kyle squeezed Ike hard enough that Ike couldn't breath any more, "or else I will inform our parents who stole and wreaked the car three years ago and who decided that last year the Goth kids had the right idea and smoked with them for over a year before that someone quit, oh and we must not forget this one individuals trip to downtown for prostitutes and takes starving Marvin's space ship when he visits Earth and goes to Canada to se his biological parents, that would just kill mom and dad and you know it, so silence is key, got it? You won't find any thing but if you find something out about me there will be consequences." He let go of Ike and looked him over and sounded normal when he said, "I hope you understand, have a fun time in Aspen with your friends."

"Okay. I won't look and I won't tell." Ike said in a voice so soft it could be considered a whisper. Kyle walked out leaving a scared Ike standing there with his mouth open, wondering how his brother knew all of this about him.

Kyle was walking upstairs deciding he had to go about this more carefully but was relieved that he knew his brother wasn't going to squeal on him. His brother keeps his word and a smile quirked on his lips at the thought because it had been him who taught him what honor was and how to always keep your word. _There's nothing to worry about anyway, I promise I won't go as far as I could go. _He shuddered hoping he could keep that promise to himself.

The next day at school was pretty cool because they finished that semester's finals and today all they were doing was hanging out, waiting for their vacation to start. He told only Stan, Kenny and Cartman that he'd be alone all winter break. Stan and Kenny thought that he was so lucky and made plans to visit him every other day so he wouldn't get lonely and Cartman said nothing.

Cartman was quite all that day thinking about how Kyle could take as much of whatever he was taking if he was all by himself with out any one noticing. He made a vow to himself to visit him every day so he could check to see if he was all right. _Maybe you can get your gay on this break._ That voice had been enjoying making fun of him for the last few months but it did hold the truth because he really did want to find out if he could have a relationship with Kyle but knew he wouldn't actually do anything about it if he didn't do it soon.

School let out and Kyle dropped his friends off at their homes and went home. He already bought everyone's presents so he didn't have to sweat going to the mall. He finally arrived at his house and went inside. He stood in the front door frame for a minute revealing in the silence and knowledge he had the house all to himself for the next three weeks.

He decided this was called for a celebration so he went upstairs, grabbed the bottle of aspirin and ran back stairs. He sat on the couch in front of the TV planning to play video games after he took the pills but he never got to play the games.

He popped half the bottle into his mouth and after he swallowed he realized something didn't feel right and he knew what it was. Kyle got up as soon as he realized, he started to run to the medicine cabinet but never made it and collapsed on the floor, not feeling anything as death approached him about to claim her newest victim.

Cartman decided to confront Kyle about his feelings early so almost immediately after Kyle dropped him off, he threw his back pack into the living room and walked back out. It was freezing out so he decided to jog to Kyle's house. While he was jogging he thought about how he was going to confess how much he liked Kyle. _I bet he'll just laugh in my face after everything I've put him through. It's so stupid I should turn around. Then I will always do that, I should better get it over with. What should I say? How about, um Kyle you know how I always made you miserable? Well I only did it because I lo-_. His thoughts were interrupted when he got to the Kyle's house.

Cartman was about to knock on the door when he heard a giant crash followed by nothing. Cartman threw the door open looking for Kyle. He ran through the downstairs in less than a minute and was running upstairs when he caught sight of a lump in the upstairs hall. As he came closer to it he saw that the lump was Kyle holding an aspirin bottle with hardly anything in it. Cartman panicked and quickly went to check Kyle's pulse and counted that it was dangerously low and saw some foam coming out of the side of Kyle's mouth. He ran to the bathroom to look for ipecac or charcoal would be better but both would induce vomiting. He scanned the medicine cabinet and was in luck; he found a ground charcoal mix and dashed out of the bathroom back to his Kyle who looked like he was crying due to the tears falling from his eyes. He shoved the equivalent to 5 teaspoons in his mouth and rubbed Kyle's throat so it would go down, it would have been easy if Kyle hadn't started to seize but he got it in their all the same. Once the charcoal hit his stomach Kyle started to throw up and Cartman carried him to the bathroom and held the red heads hair up all the while.

Kyle felt like winter's chill had him and he was falling deeper and deeper into that chill and knew that this was the end of his rope that he would surely die because he saw the most handsome brown haired angel come and thought it was the angel of death coming to claim him and take him and his pain away. The angel looked familiar yet odd though, he was flushed and had a panicked look but he was still the most wonderful thing he had ever seen and his heart darkened when he saw the angel leave. For a whole minute Kyle thought the angel left him in the ever increasing cold to die without him and tears started to fall from his eyes, lights were starting to form in his vision when he felt something shoved in his throat and rubbed down so he would swallow and he saw that the person shoving was the strangely familiar angel. He would have gladly swallowed it but his body began to seize and couldn't do as the angel wished. Just when death was about to make it's final blow he felt a prick of heat and started to vomit. He felt the angel carry him to the bathroom and hold his fiery curls as he vomitted. When he finally finished he felt as if he just walked through the desert for a week without water and immediately passed out with seeing the angel looking at him in a loving way.

Eventually Kyle stopped vomiting and passed out into a deep dreamless sleep Cartman couldn't walk him up from. The German boy was alarmed but checked Kyle's pulse and it was strong so he relaxed a bit and put his love to bed, changed him into clean clothes and went to clean the mess Kyle had made, happy that the Jew was still alive but unsetteled at the thought of not knowing if he would still be alive in the morning.

* * *

**AUthors note:**

Sorry for the cliffhanger but I want the next part to be the begining of a chapter, Please comment!


	5. Together

The night was long as Cartman stayed by Kyle's passed out form. For hours all Eric did was watch for any visible improvement. After awhile Cartman fell asleep lying next to Kyle on the bed.

Kyle woke up slowly. His head was throbbing as he tried to remember the night before but as hard as he tried everything was fuzzy and unfocused. He finally gave up on trying to remember and was about to get up and ready for the day, especially to brush his teeth because for some reason his mouth tasted disgusting, when he turned on his bed and saw the one thing he ad always wanted to see, Eric Cartman sleeping next to him.

He thought he must be dreaming and pinched himself, he cried out because he actually felt the pain of the pinch. He scrambled to get out of his bed and sneak out before Cartman could wake up but it was too late, his cry had awakened the German boy and he was starting to stir from his slumber.

Cartman woke up quickly when he realized he had fallen asleep in the first place. He started to panic when he didn't see Kyle and started to yell out "Kyle! Kyle! Ky-"He stopped yelling when he looked up and saw his love looking at him with a panicky face. Kyle ran down stairs and Cartman followed.

"Why are you here? And why in hell are you in my bed?" Kyle asked. He was so confused that it came out angrily and he started to pace.

"Saving your life, ass hole." The anger in Kyle's voice had brought anger in his. He calmed instantly when he heard Kyle speak next.

"WH- what do you mean?" he sounded scared as he had a quick flash back of swallowing pills and running up stairs. He started to stare into space at the thought of his flash back.

Eric started to worry when Kyle seemed to stare into space; his eyes were getting wider and wider. He finally shook Kyle to snap him out of it. When he saw just shaking wasn't working he started to yell a plea, "Please Kyle, snap out of this! Don't do what Butters did, wake up for me Kyle!" Kyle was already starting to snap out of it when Eric thought he was about to lose him forever so he did the first thing he thought of, Eric Cartman kissed Kyle Brovflaski straight on the lips and then Kyle passed out.

Kyle was feeling dizzy when he was emerging from his trance; the shaking was making it worse. He thought his head would burst when he felt something on his lips. He focused his eyes for a second and upon the sight of Cartman pressing his lips against his own everything became to overwhelming and he fainted.

Kyle woke to Cartman looming over him biting his lip. "What happened?"

"What do you think happened?" Cartman asked nervously.

Kyle thought back to his last thought and scrambled away from Cartman. "You kissed me?! Why?!"

"I thought you would die…fag" Kyle noticed the slight hesitation in Cartman's voice, his heart raced.

"Are you sure that's the only reason?" Kyle was sad that he thought that maybe Cartman liked him for even a second. Cartman sat there for a few minutes, indecision clearly playing across his face.

_

* * *

_

What the fuck are you waiting for Gaylord? Isn't this what you came here for?

I know, I know but what if he rejects me? _When did you become such a pussy? I bet when you do man up and tell him you will be the catcher. _What do you mean? _Yeah, definitely the catcher, hahaha._ Fine, I'll tell him, god dammit!

* * *

"Actually Kyle…umm….I did because…umm..."

"Yes?" Kyle asked because he was getting excited.

"I also did it because I like you, I mean like like you." Cartman said it as one word. When he finished Kyle threw himself on to Cartman, forcing them to be on top of each other, and started kissing him furiously. Kyle kissed hard enough to bruise unless Cartman opened his mouth to him. Cartman opened his mouth to let him. Kyle thrust his tongue in his mouth, exploring everything his tongue could reach. Kyle's arms wrapped around Cartman's neck, pressing them together as close as he could. Cartman started to undo his belt but Kyle pulled back and asked, "What are you doing?"

"I thought we were going to get into it." Cartman replied but by this point Kyle scooted away from him. "What's the matter? Don't you like me?" Cartman looked down sadly.

"Of course I like you dude but I'm not doing it right now! We haven't even gone out on a date or anything!" Kyle replied.

"You've sucked my balls before Kyle. Why won't you do it now?"

"That was in Imagination Land and it wasn't me it was an imaginary version of me!" Kyle was angry now, "I like you, really like you but if you want this to work we need to take this slowly, ok? Let's go on a date or two and see how it works out before we go any further."

"Oh yeah, how do you think the town will react? I don't think we could just walk down main avenue hand in hand, acting lovey dovey. That and I'd be kicked off the football team, that's the only thing that'll get me into college. Do you understand that Kyle?" Cartman said, desperate for him to understand, "That is the only thing that can get me away from this town."

"Okay, we won't go out on a date but we can have dinner in or just hang out."

"We've hung out a million times before, what makes this any different?"

"Just humor me." Kyle said. Cartman started to laugh as he got up and put his coat on.

"I've got to get home, call me every hour or so, so I know that you're alright. Do I at least get a good bye kiss?" Humor clearly showed in his voice which got Kyle mad.

"If you keep laughing, no." Cartman's eyes sobered instantly.

"Better?" he asked. Kyle walked over to him and wrapped his arms around the shorter man's shoulders. He leaned down and whispered against Cartman's lips, "Much," and kissed him thoroughly. Cartman laughed and walked out the front door, unknowing to both that Kenny was watching through the window the whole time.

* * *

Kenny couldn't believe what he was seeing. He saw his love and his enemy making out and looking at each other with extreme lust. They finally stopped. Kyle was grinning like a fool and only Kenny could see it because Cartman walked out quickly with a grin of his own on his face. Cartman was so happy that he didn't notice Kenny standing right next to the porch. After Cartman left Kyle started to hum and seemed to glow with happiness. Kenny started t break down and cry because today was the day he would have confessed his love to his Jewish muse.


	6. A Worse Type of Trip

Sorry it took so long to update. Hope you like the next chapter....it might be a little screwy because I'm not thinking straight right now and I literally wrote this like 2 seconds before I published it.

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Chapter 6

Kyle watched as Cartman left his house, disbelief quickly filling his mind. _That so did not happen_, Kyle thought as he rubbed his lips which were now swollen and said aloud, "Or maybe it just did."

He walked back upstairs lightly and in a good mood, hardly believing what happened. He changed into sweatpants because for some reason he couldn't think of he was wearing some Terrance & Phillip pajamas that were way too tight to be comfortable. So he decided that he might as well get dressed for the day.

He walked over to the bathroom to change out of habit but when he got there the scent of bleach hit his nose. He winced at the thought of why that scent was possibly there. Shrugging aside these thoughts, he needed his fix and looked for his pills.

He looked through the whole house, leaving no cabinet unopened and no drawer undrawn. The whole time he was looking his hands started shaking and he started to feel weaker and weaker. He finally gave up looking and went to go get his car keys so he could go to the store which was to far away and to cold outside to walk to and again looked through the whole house and again couldn't find what he was looking for.

He was getting desperate now and his withdrawal symptoms were getting bad. He decided to call Cartman to see if he knew where his keys were for some reason.

"Hello?"

"Hey Cartman, its Kyle."

"Oh, hey Kyle, I've been thinking about what to do for our supposed date or hanging out or whatever and I think-"

"That's great but that's not what I've called about," Kyle interrupted quickly so he wouldn't get distracted, "I called because I was wondering if you knew where my car keys were." It took all his strength so his voice wouldn't shake.

"Oh, yes that," Cartman said while the sounds of jangling keys started up.

"You took my keys you fucking fatass?!" Kyle shouted, why he was surprised at this point he didn't know.

"I also took all the painkillers out of your house my addicted little Jew so you can't get high from that," Cartman laughed out.

"God damn it!" Kyle shouted with a shaky voice, "I'm going serious withdrawal give them back!"

"Sorry but I have made it my mission to get you clean again, I'm not going out with a druggie." Kyle growled as he said this and Cartman just laughed harder. Cartman suddenly got serious, "Plus, do you remember what happened to Butters?"

Kyle settled down, "Yeah….I remember, but I'd never go that far. I thought you knew me better than that."

"I'm doing this for your own sake you ungrateful Jew so stop bitching." Kyle slammed the phone on the reciever and screamed.

Just as he thought there would be no relief he remembered something. He ran up to his closet and dug through the pile of crap that inhabited his top shelf. He finally found the dusty box he was looking for behind everything and pulled it out. The title of the box was _the time I spent in San Francisco_ and he was the only one who knew about it. So there was no way Cartman could have gone through it.

He went through the few pictures and papers that were in there from the brief time he lived there and found what he was looking for. He picked up a pair of rolled up socks that seemed out of place until he unrolled them and found what he was looking for. A huge smile crossed his face as put his hand in the sock.

He pulled out what he was reaching for. A plastic bag full of acid was now on his lap seeming to looking at him, gleaming with the knowledge it was about to be gone at last. He promised himself he would never do this stuff again and he would definitely keep it away from Ike but this was a special case.

If only Cartman let him have his pills, but no one bosses Kyle around especially not him, so he took out about what he estimated about half a hit, hid the rest of the bag and downed his loot. It took a little bit of time to kick in but when it did he was so happy. The trip was better than he remembered from when he was nine and it was way better than the painkillers could ever imagine being.

Everything seemed to be smiling with him, colors he never imagined before played before his eyes. It was totally awesome. He felt so good he decided he needed to share his awesomeness and called Kenny because he knew Stan would be pissed if he found out that Kyle was on drugs.

He dialed the number and waited for an answer.

"Hello?" Kenny answered a sad note seeming to be in his voice that Kyle totally missed.

"Hey Ken, darling," Kyle paused to giggle, "Come over and have some fun with me." Kyle continued to giggle for no reason.

"Kyle is that you? Jesus what are you on? Are smoking pot?" Kenny sounded mad.

"Why so mad Kenny? You get high more than me and it's not pot it's acid, so many pretty colors," Kyle said the last in an airy voice.

"I'm coming over." Kenny said as he shut the phone off with out knowing Kyle continued.  
"That's the point; hurry your sexy ass up!" Kyle laughed so hard he nearly wet himself hanging his own phone up.

While Kyle was waiting he looked out his window and thought he could fly. It took him a second to decide but in the end he opened his window and stood on the ledge, having to squat rather than stand because he was so tall. He waited until he saw Kenny to fly so that way he could show him. He finally saw Kenny but trailing behind him was the one person he didn't want to see this once, Eric Cartman. He didn't care though because he was about to fly away anyway and even his love couldn't stop him.

"Hey guys, look at me! I can fly!"

He waved at them so they could see and they started to run. He didn't know why but he shrugged it off as he flexed his toes and then knees. He was starting his jump when two pairs of hands grabbed the back his shirt and pulled him back in.

Some one pulled Kyle into their arms hardly and kissed him just as hard. Kyle looked down to see Cartman kissing him again and smiled.

"What the fuck did you think you were doing? Do I have to stay with you the whole time to keep you from dying, again?" Cartman started to shake Kyle.

"Stop!" Kyle pleaded and then he caught sight of Kenny and asked, "Kenny help me."

"Again?"

Cartman stopped at the realization that Kenny saw them kiss and know there were tears in his eyes.

* * *

Ummm, yeah...Leave comments please! If my description on what it's like on acid is off then sorry but I've never been on it so yeah. I think the next chapter should be better...well in my mind it is. So....umm...yeah.


	7. Chapter seven?

Sorry, it's a short chapter even though I haven't posted in awhile. Promise to post soon because I feel like typing over this weekend. I haven't edited as much as I like so forgive a few mistakes. Enjoy!

* * *

"What do you mean again?" Kenny asked softly, tears threatening to escape his eyes. When nobody answered Kenny shouted, "God damn it what do you mean by again? What aren't you telling me?"

Cartman let go of Kyle, who still, extremely high found the whole situation amusing _even after Cartman almost shook me to death_, Kyle laughed at his internal thoughts and said aloud unconsciously, "Again." He giggled and fell to the floor and had a laughing fit.

The other two boys remained quite while Kyle laughed himself out and fell asleep where he fell.

Cartman and Kenny put the Jew into his bed and went down stairs.

Before Cartman could say anything Kenny said, "I know about you two but apparently I don't know what has happened completely in the last two days. Tell me. You owe me that much for telling you about Kyle being high in the first place."

Cartman got pissed at Kenny's tone of voice, but told him of the last two days anyway. After he finished his stories he added, "How in fucking hell do you know about me and _my_ Kahl? What, were you spying on us or something?"

"No, I was coming over to hang out with Kyle when I saw the tail end of your make out session and decided to go home," Kenny thought of the lie quickly and thought he pulled it off pretty well but apparently not well enough.

"You're lying about something, and I will by god figure it out but for now I need to find that acid before Kyle wakes up. Are you going to help?" Cartman said grumpily, hoping Kenny would say no.

"Of course," Kenny replied, knowing it pissed the other boy off by his harrumphs.

They searched for hours with no prevail. They went through everything and they mean everything, even Shelia's unmentionables drawer.

* * *

When Kyle finally woke up he had a hangover to his surprise but was shocked to see both Kenny and Cartman staring at him with the same expression, one of madness and yet concern at the same time.

"Umm, what happened?" Kyle asked cautiously and added, "Why are both looking at me like that? Even better, why are you here?"

Cartman couldn't remain calm and burst, "Because you almost fucking died again you fucking Jew rat! You promised me you wouldn't die like HIM you fucking promised." Although his words were hard, Cartman drew him into an embrace hiding his face in the larger mans neck so he wouldn't see his tears during the statement. His inner thoughts coming into play _you look like a girl with your face buried in his neck you know. _I don't care, he almost died again! I don't want him to die like Butters did; you remember what happened when that happened, he can't come back like Kenny. _Yeah but the past is the past and Kyle didn't intend to die, he was just being stubborn like usual and you did take his vice away. _I can't believe apart of me is actually agreeing with Kyle. _You are more gone than you thought hombre. _

Kyle started rubbing Cartman's back trying to calm him down because his silent tears became shaking sobs. Kyle shot Kenny a plea of help with his eyes but Kenny threw up his hands and said, "Hey he's your boyfriend not mine, I don't know what to do."

Cartman calmed down when he heard Kenny's voice and sat up. "So why are you guys here?" Kyle asked.

This time Kenny while taking a seat on Kyle's computer chair answered casually, "Because you're retarded and got high off of acid which made you believe you could fly."

"That makes sense. I'm not telling you were it is though."

"To hell you are!" Cartman exclaimed.

Kyle saw this coming and said, "Give me my keys back and I might tell you where my stash is, deal?"

"No, you bring me the stash, give me a B.J. to make me feel better for you almost dying and I'll give you your keys when your delectable parents come back home," Cartman countered.

"I told you already, we need to at least go on a date for anything further than a kiss and my parents won't be home for weeks!"

"That's the point."

"How about I give the promise I will get rid of the stash and I get my car keys when we go on our first date?"

"Kahl, won't you just give me what I want?"

"No fat ass, especially when you use that name! You know I hate it when you use it!"

"Hey, I'm not fat anymore." Their tones had gradually become teasing rather than heated and Kenny started to laugh.

"Wow you two make a great couple, I think I'm just going to go….yeah," Kenny said feeling awkward.

As Kenny was walking out Kyle grabbed his hand and pulled him into a quick hug. Even though it only lasted seconds it warmed Kenny from the tip of his toes to the crown of his head. "Thanks for being there Ken," Kyle murmured after he released his friend. Kenny almost ran out of the house at this point to hide the satisfied smile on his face.

As Kenny left, Kyle sighed and sat on his bed next to Cartman on his bed. Cartman made Kyle lower his head so he could stroke his hair that looked like fire when compared to his crème skin.

"Wanna talk about it dude?" Kyle asked.

"Not really, I'm not ready yet," they both knew it wasn't about Kyle they were referring too.

"Okay, so can I have my car keys back if I promise not to get high?"

"Yeah, whatever," Cartman pulled out Kyle's keys and handed them to him.

"So what are we going to do?" Kyle asked.

"I'm not sure anymore. If you can stay alive long enough you want to go down to see a pro wrestling thing?"

"Sure, it's kinda ruined for me since we were rejected though and our coach picked in our stead."

"Yeah but there's nothing else to do in a small town."

"Good point, when are we going?"

"Tonight?" Cartman asked curiously.

"Fine."

* * *

That night they when the show started, Kyle and Cartman snickered, a lot, because apparently they had stolen some of their bit from all those years ago. They shouted their yays and nays with the best of them and it was to crowded for anyone to notice the two boys holding hands the entire time. The rednecks however noticed when Cartman kissed Kyle on the cheek after the 'Juggernaut' (Kyle's former character) made an undying confession of love to the Rad Russian (Cartman's former character) and The Rad Russian put an ultimate smack down on him.

"Hey what do you two queers think you're doing at a respectable place like this," said the red haired redneck who always complained about losing his job and just as he said that a women wearing only lengerie walked onto the stage, doing the other bit Cartman used to do as a female who loved to get abortions.

"Hey it's not as gay as when all the men were in giant piles and humped the shit out of each other...I believe you were the leader, were you not?" Kyle countered to the red neck.

"Yeah, well... How would you guys like a beer?" offered the redneck, embarrased by his past escapades. "Lets put the past behind us...By gones be by gones and all that shit?"

"A beer would be cool," Cartman said while taking the beer happily and draining it quickly.

"Yeah thanks," Kyle toook one as well but he didn't drink so he only took sips through out the night.

The rest of the night went perfectly and they even became sort of friends with the rednecks. By the time they both got to Kyle's house both of them were smiling. Especially when Kyle lead Cartman to his bedroom.

* * *

Hope you liked it. I think there will be some smex in the next chapter, can't wait to write that....Reviews please.


	8. Fun turns unexpected

_Hope you enjoy this chapter...I'm really going to need reviews for this one so keep that in mind...at the end of the chapter I'll tell you why if you don't already guess....enjoy again!_

* * *

As they entered the house Kyle grabbed Cartman's hand and led him up the stairs. They slowly made it there, stopping every few steps to make out. When they finally reached Kyle's room, Kyle made Cartman wait outside until he said he could come in again. It was about ten minutes later before the door opened ever so slightly.

"You can come in now," Kyle said seductively.

"'bout freaking ti-"Cartman stopped abruptly when he saw what Kyle had done. Kyle had lit at least twenty scented candles around the room causing shadows to dance around everywhere; he then had rose petals in a path from the door to the bed and on the bed Kyle lay, propped up naked so that the full ten inches of his manhood showed . "When did you get all this stuff? I was gone only like twenty minutes today." _You're asking about the stuff AROUND the man you love when he's NAKED in a bed clearly wanting to have SEX WITH YOU! What's wrong with you? _I'm just a bit nervous is all; leave me alone, I'll get down to this in a second, Cartman thought.

"You sure you're ready for this?" Kyle asked noting Cartman's hesitation.

"Yeah, I've wanted to do this for a long time, even though I didn't always know it. It just takes a second to get used to looking at the most handsome thing I own" Cartman said with hungry eyes.

"You don't own me fat ass and if you think you do then I won't put out for you," Kyle smiled at this.

"I'm sorry but damn you…just…you are my boyfriend right?"

"Yes and I'm about to make your deepest dreams come true, if you can behave yourself. So what do you want me to do to you or you to me?" Kyle rolled around on the bed playfully.

"I want to mouth fuck you and make you drink my cum," Cartman said bluntly.

"Alright but I get to do what I want afterward," Kyle said but Cartman wasn't paying attention he was just too stoked that Kyle agreed to give him a blow job but Kyle didn't mind as long as he got what he wanted also.

Kyle stood up gracefully and walked over to Cartman, looked down to his brown eyes and started to get lower and lower until he was over his lover's crotch area. He gently undid Cartman's pants and boxers as best he could because Cartman had grown hard and his cock was a good eight inches long.

Kyle licked his lips and grabbed Cartman's member which caused him to moan. Kyle lowered his head to meet Cartman's glory and he flicked his tongue out to brush Cartman's head lightly. Cartman gave another moan and didn't expect it when Kyle entirely engulfed his tip. Cartman twitched and grumbled in a way that Kyle knew meant he had enjoyed the little surprise. Kyle wasn't sure what to do so he pretended that Cartman was lollipop that he couldn't get enough of, so probably cherry.

Although the taste was far from cherry it was still pleasant, a bit salty and bitter but still good. He tested biting lightly and bobbing and knew Cartman enjoyed it because he threaded his hand into Kyle's hair and moaned loudly.

"Oh Kyle, you're so good- ah- at this," Cartman panted. Kyle started to lick him faster, grazing his teeth menacingly hard and grabbed the base to start pumping with his hand. First he was gentle and then he got rougher, pounding faster and faster until, "I'm –ah- going to –ah- cuuuum!" Cartman screamed this as his release came. "OH my god." Kyle swallowed everything because he never had anything that tasted like this before. It was sweet and soothingly hot yet bitter and rough to swallot but it was _what tangy, maybe?_ Kyle thought with a mental shrug.

"Kyle, that was-"Cartman was cut off when Kyle threw himself on Cartman, engulfing his lips with his open mouth, his tongue demanding entrance. Cartman knew he either had to open or cut his lip on Kyle's teeth. He kept his mouth shut and a tiny cut opened, gushing blood into Kyle's mouth making him moan. _I never knew that there would be so many tastes when I finally had sex_ Kyle thought.

Cartman finally opened his mouth to let Kyle in and tasted his own blood, a metallic tinge that tasted just right. They kissed passionately and eventually Cartman's was as naked as Kyle.

They slowly traveled across the room and finally got to the bed. Kyle made it so he was on top of Cartman . Kyle grinded his penis against Cartman's and kept rubbing them until pre cum was coming out at which point he turned Cartman over. Before Cartman could react Kyle thrust a finger in his ass, trying to stretch it out. Cartman didn't break out of the trance until Kyle started to scissor him.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"I'm preparing you or else it'll hurt…unless you want it too hurt fat ass."

"Oh no, no, no, no. I am not going to be the bitch in this relationship!"

"What does taking it up the ass have to do with being the bitch? You just got a blow job and that is not the bitch role!"

"No, I'm not doing it unless you give me one good reas-"

"I can't because," Kyle mumbled the last looking down.

"What was that Kahl?"

Kyle looked up with tears in his eyes, "I can't because the scar from my hemorrhoid might get re-infected and I'm never going through that again, not for you not for anybody." Kyle collapsed from the memory of the searing pain, of almost dying, of the hopelessness he felt but more than anything he collapsed from the realization he would never get to have Cartman even thoug he was this close to his fantasies because he knew deep down the Neo-Nazi would never let himself get fucked by a Jew. Even then he knew that before but he wouldn't kill himself by letting that hemorrhoid open, his doctor called in those twenty minutes...it wasn't good news.

_What are you waiting for? There is the guy you've been wanting forever now and you'll let that go because you don't want to be catcher? Pussy. _Hey I don't want to be the bitch in this, that's what Kyle is for! _You've always known he was too stubborn to let you dominate him. _Yeah and I never thought he'd give me head, and good head at that. _Well make your choice because the mood is fading and quickly._ Damn there must be Jew magic at work for me too even consider this, getting fucked by a Jew? How'd a thought that it'd come down to this for the great Eric Cartman? He's lying to me in some way he's never had a hemorroid or has he? Why do feel like something isn't right? _Why does it matter right now?_

Cartman decided to swallow his pride this once and kissed Kyle softly. "You'll be my bitch but this once you can fuck me in the ass." Kyle knew this was hard for Cartman to do and kissed him back, not daring to tell Cartman off about the bitch remark.

"Thank you." Kyle continued to prep Cartman and when he was done he put on a condom and lubed him and Cartman up, "Ready?"

Cartman only nodded and Kyle gently put himself in Cartman, causing him to gasp. Kyle wiggled his way in but before he could get all the way sheathed he felt something cold and drew out just in time as a giant satellite came shooting out Cartman's ass taking out part of the roof.

"Holy Shit dude! Cartman are you all right?"

Cartman's eyes were bugging out and said, "You know that feeling when you take a huge shit? Awesome."

"That's disgusting but what do we-"Kyle was cut off when an alien ship appeared above them. There was a flash of light and then nothing.

* * *

_Okay this is why you have to review because I need to decide whether or not to take the last part out or not...I mean it's basic South Park knoweledge that Cartman has a satiellite up his ass from the aliens but everyone always and I mean ALWAYS overlook this. It's first episode basics here but I just want to know if you guys want me to replace it with a real sex scene right away or if you can hold tight for a few chapters. Ummm...that's all...review!_


	9. The Worst News Possible

_I stole some actual dialouge from the actual shwo but I don't own it, bla blah blah. Enjoy...if you can...don don don!_

* * *

Kyle woke up wrapped in something warm, sticky and slimey. For a second he didn't know what was going on and tried to wiggle free. It only took a second and soon he was in a huge hall filled with green pods like the one he was in. He looked at several of these, all of them empty except for one which had Cartman. Kyle winced when he saw him because he couldn't help but think of what they almost got to do and now? Now that was denied to him forever and he was extremely horny!

Kyle poked Cartman hoping to get help on finding a way out but Cartman wouldn't wake until Kyle yelled, "Wake up fat ass!"

Cartman woke with a start and yelled, "Aww, get me out! Get me out of Helen Hunt's ass!" _What the hell? Why aren't we in Kyle? Where are we? _Jew magic, I told you! _Maybe he drugged us? Last thing I remember was some weird ass lights._ Yeah and then what? We ended up in Helen Hunt's ass? Dear god I'm doomed!

"Cartman, shut up! You're not in Helen Hunt's ass, you're in an alien space ship," Kyle said looking frustrated.

"Oh, oh thank god," Cartman panted, obviously relieved. "What's wrong with-"Before Cartman could finish a giant taco that was crapping ice cream walked in.

"Hello boys, it's good seeing you again. Why did you activate the communication relay? We haven't been having problems with your sect since the last time we met," the taco said while releasing several scoops of different ice cream.

"We've met before? And dude why are you a giant taco with ice cream coming out of your butt?" Kyle asked.

"Because this is the form you chose last time and I thought it would be easier for you too handle."

"Damn straight," Cartman broke out laughing.

"Shut up Cartman, I'm trying to get answers. So we've seen you before?"

"Yes your memories were erased as they will be again but we must ask what is wrong with the communication relay and why did you activate?"

"You mean the thing in Cartman's ass?"

"Yes, we have them in over 50 thousand humans around the world for our TV show and now please explain why it was activated?" The alien started to sound annoyed.

"Uh we didn't mean too, I mean we were about to have…umm…relations and it came out," Kyle blushed when he was talking.

"Oh I see. Well when did your relations start?"

Cartman walked over to Kyle and grabbed his hand before replying, " I confessed I liked Kyle about two and a half days ago but we've both liked each other for ages."

"Thank you for the exact days. I know you boys won't understand but we can't have our satellite keep coming out and potentially getting damaged, so we'll have to erase your relationship from your minds."

"Wait, no!" both boys screamed as a flash of light blinded them.

* * *

Kyle woke in his bed with a massive head ache. He got up to get some aspirin he felt really weak and looked very pale in the mirror. He then looked at his watch which had the date and it was three days later than he remembered last. He tried to remember them but the last thing he could remember was coming home and taking the pain pills. "Holy shit dude," Kyle said to himself. "I'm staying away from that shit even if it kills me."

Kyle walked down stairs feeling really weak. Just as he was about to start making breakfast the phone rang. Kyle walked as fast as he could but was too late and the answering machine picked up.

After the message played and the speaker finished talking, Kyle burst into tears. It was the worst news of his life and he had no one to turn too. He curled up on the couch, tears strolling down his face. He finally decided to call Kenny because he had to talk to someone and he didn't know how Stan would react yet and Knew Cartman wouldn't care.

The phone rang and finally Kenny picked up, "Hello?" Kenny sounded utterly depressed.

_He has nothing on me_ thought, "Kenny, could… you please… come over? I need someone right now and I don't know who else I could call." Kyle's voice broke several times from sobbing.

"I knew it! Did he hurt you Kyle?" Kenny roared, demanding an answer.

"I don't know what you're talking about Ken… Please come over and I'll explain."

"All right but I want the honest answer."

"Okay," Kyle said softly and hung up. Kyle would have wondered what Kenny meant about someone hurting him but that seemed so unimportant now.

* * *

Across town Cartman woke up feeling like he forgot something important and that's all he felt. He walked around his house and made breakfast for him and his mother.

"Good morning pooky kins. How is mommy's special little man this morning?" Leanne asked as she walked in.

"Fine, mom. I just have a feeling like I'm forgetting something."

"Oh, I wonder why that is. I hope you don't forget to visit you little friend Kyle."

Cartman froze while midway cracking an egg open. "What did you say?"

"Hmm? Oh it's just you've visited him the last two days and you were gone all night, Hun if you're gay you know I'm all right with it, right?"

Cartman smiled and said, "Yes mom. Can you finish breakfast? I think I'm going to go see Kyle."

"Sure go right ahead. Have good time baby." Cartman walked casually to the front door and then took off running to Kyle's House. What did I do? _I don't know but it sounds like we're forgetting something fun._

* * *

Kenny found Kyle curled on a couch in his pajamas; his eyes were puffy and red from crying so hard. Kyle looked up when the door slammed shut but didn't move.

"What's wrong with you? Did Cartman do something to you? I knew it was a bad idea!" Kenny said.

"What does Cartman have to do with anything? I haven't seen anyone for the last three days. Even if I saw Cartman he couldn't have anything to do with this." Kyle burst into tears as he pointed his head toward the answering machine.

Kenny played the message back and when it was finished he collapsed next to Kyle on the couch.

"Oh Kyle, I'm so sorry." Kenny moved closer to Kyle and pulled him into his arms. Kyle snuggled into Kenny's neck. "So you don't remember anything from the last two days."

Kyle shook his head and said, "I took some pain pills and I think I blanked out for a few days. Everything is just gone. I remember going to the store for something and that's it."

Kenny didn't know what to do. He had this second chance but didn't want to take advantage of Kyle, not now. He decided he would just tell Kyle how he felt and that was it, he _would be much better for him than Cartman. _"Kyle I know this is poor timing but I've wanted to tell you something for awhile now. I've been in love with you for the last two years."

Kyle was shocked. He never knew anyone could ever feel something like that for him. Kyle didn't know how to react. He wanted Cartman but knew that would never happen. Kenny on the other hand _was _his second choice of fantasy. Kenny looked like he was about to say something more but before he could Kyle pushed himself up to met his lips with Kenny's for a gentle kiss. Which was quickly broken by the sound of someone hitting the window, yelling "no" in a voice that sounded heartbroken, it was no other than Eric Cartman

* * *

Cartman reached Kyle's house in a few minutes. He was about to knock when he caught sight of something in the window. Peering in Cartman saw Kyle kissing Kenny on the lips.

Out of despair he hit the window with his fist and screamed, "No!" as his heart started to break.

Kenny opened the door within a few seconds and said, "Come in."

"Why? So you and Kyle can shred my heart some more?" Cartman looked as if he were about to cry.

"Please come in…Kyle needs all the support he can get."

"Why?"

Kenny looked very grave as he said, "You'll see."

They both walked in to the house and Cartman saw Kyle was crying. Cartman rushed over to Kyle but stopped himself because he didn't want Kyle to know he liked him just yet but then thought _to hell with it make your move! _He's clearly with Kenny! _So? _Good point.

Cartman draped his arms around Kyle's shoulder while Kenny shot him an annoyed glare. "Why are you holding me? I thought you h-h-hated me!"

"No, never hate my little Jew, never hate. I actually, Kyle, I-I like you alot." Cartman looked down embarrassed and then hurt when Kyle shook him off.

"This is too much, way too much," Kyle curled into an even tighter ball and started rocking back and forth.

"Why do I feel like I'm missing something," Cartman said. Kenny motioned to the answering machine.

Cartman walked slowly to the machine.

He hit the play button.

He listened to it.

"Leukemia?"

* * *

_Don't hate me! I do everythign for a reason and I have an awesome plan for this! Reviews please!_


	10. Cancer, sex and aleins?

_Enjoy!_

* * *

Kenny and, Cartman looked at Kyle, who was still huddled in a ball rocking back and forth for what seemed like eternity. Everything was quite except for the gentle crying sounds that came from Kyle.

"What do we do now?" Kenny asked at last breaking the rising tension.

"I don't know what you and _your boyfriend _want to do but I still want to help Kyle, even if he's an annoying Jew rat and the cancer does turn out to be god's way of showing I was right," Cartman said trying to bait Kyle but for once Kyle didn't rise to it. _What is wrong with him?_ He has cancer._ I know but..._

"He's not my boyfriend," Kenny sighed miserably.

Kyle finally looked up and said, "I thought you wanted to be and you kissed me back."

"I would love to be your boyfriend but you're Cartman's beau. I don't know what is going on between you two but I'm not getting in the way."

"What are you talking about?" Kyle and Cartman asked at the same time.

"Yesterday and the day before you were both all lovey dovey, makey outy...had a lets fuck attitude but now you're acting like the way you used to around each other… well not exactly but you're not a couple anymore," Kenny knew he just blew his chance with Kyle but he knew that Cartman was the one Kyle really wanted if he only could remember.

"Oh thank Moses, this is all a dream," Kyle said, clearly starting to calm down and becoming happier. "I don't have cancer! No one knows how I feel! I am so relieved!" Kyle's mouth split into a huge grin.

"Kyle this isn't a dream, you really do have cancer and you have too deal with this," Kenny said seriously.

"No you see Cartman can not be in a relationship with me. He totally hates me being the neo Nazi that he is, so therefore what you say is faulty and only can my fantasies come true in a dream, hence this is a dream because that is definitely a fantasy. I don't get the whole cancer thing but it won't matter when I wake up!"

"Kyle this is no dream," Kenny tried to get Kyle to see reason but after five minutes of arguing with him he gave up and turned to Cartman. "Your turn to try."

"Watch and see how it's done," Cartman said as he walked over and knelt in front of Kyle.

"What are you doing?" Kyle asked nervously as Cartman's face came closer to his own.

"You'll see in a moment," Cartman said just as he kissed Kyle forcibly. Cartman opened his mouth and without think Kyle plunged his tongue into Cartman's mouth. Kyle took the offensive and pushed Cartman down and straddled him to deepen the kiss. Cartman put his arms around Kyle's neck while Kyle played with the Cartman's hair. They looked as if they were ready to rip off each others clothes and have sex right there on the spot when Kenny couldn't bear to watch any longer.

Kenny cleared his throat a couple times before he got their attention, "Told ya." There was a glimmer of tears in Kenny's eyes he tried to hide but Kyle saw them.

Kyle went and gave Kenny a hug. Kenny stiffened up when he felt Kyle's arms but soon relaxed when he knew this would probably be the closest he would ever get to Kyle, "I'm so sorry Kenny, you're one of my best friends and that will never change."

"Gee, great." Kyle nuzzled into Kenny who gave a sigh, "Alright Kyle I get your point."

Kyle let go and looked to Cartman, "So you really want to be my boyfriend?"

"I-"Cartman hesitated then took a deep breath and slowly said, "Yes."

Kyle gave a sad smile, "It's ironic, just as I got the thing I want most in my life, I'm about to die." He said the last in a squeak which turned into raking sobs as the true realization hit, "I'm going to die, I'm going to die!" Cartman drew Kyle into his arms so Kyle could let it all out and so Kyle wouldn't be able to see the tears of his own eyes let escape.

"It's not so bad Kyle. You fall asleep and wake up outside your body as your spiritual self. Most people go to hell but I'll make sure you don't," Kenny said and as the angel of immortality he knew what he was saying.

"I guess you would know," Kyle gave a small smile.

"Hey, I'm going to go now so you too could have alone time. Don't worry about anything I'll make the doctors appointment for you for tomorrow. I'll see you bright and early tomorrow morning… please just be decent when I get here." With that Kenny left the house in such a rush Kyle didn't even have time to say good bye or thank you.

* * *

"Kenny is such a good friend," Kyle said in Cartman's neck.

"For a poor man yeah. Hey Kyle, do you remember anything from the last three days?" Just as Cartman said that all of a sudden the noon sun became dusk. Hours passed and they both seemed to have blanked out.

* * *

"Whoa that was weird," Kyle said looking confused.

"Yeah, what were we doing?" Cartman asked he also noticed Kyle looked a little pale. "Oh yeah, do you remember the last three days or the last five hours for that matter? What's wrong how're you feeling?"

"I don't remember anything and I feel fine now but when I woke up this morning I felt really sick but I think that was because of the-"Kyle couldn't say cancer, not yet anyway.

"I think I believe Kenny when he said we were a couple… do you still want to be a couple?"

"Yes, more than you know… I've liked you for so long now and I just can't believe this is real…not yet."

"I know exactly how you feel."

"Too bad it's all for nothing," Kyle said sullenly.

"What do you mean Kyle? Seriousla, nothing?" Cartman sounded out raged.

"I'm going to die! What if I have one of the ones that's incurable and kills quickly! It's almost as bad as having AIDS again! I just don't know!"

"Aids is the worse disease true but Kyle, what are you saying?" Cartman asked.

"I don't think we should do this and by that I mean us," Kyle said his voice in obvious pain.

"What are you talking about Kyle? I want to be with you. I've always wanted to be with you."

"And I you but I don't' want you to have to live through this with me, you'll just be more hurt when I- I die." Kyle's eyes were filled with tears.

"Kyle I'll be in more pain if I can't be there with you," Cartman looked like he was going to cry because he thought that this might actually be it, he was so close and still no cigar and now there will never be said cigar.

"Really?"

"Truly, I want to be with you forever. I know it never seemed like it but I've always liked you…even when we were young."

"All right but if I get really sick and you can't handle it I want you too leave and save yourself the pain."

"I'll never leave you," Cartman said sincerely.

"Thank you."

"Kyle… do you want me to make you feel better?" Cartman asked.

"What do you mean?" Kyle asked shocked.

"Well you probably don't have much time left right?"

"Yeah," Kyle said suspiciously.

"And you should experience everything life has too offer, right?"

"Yeah, I suppose that would make sense."

"Are you a virgin?"

"What?! Why?"

"Well we could take care of that tonight," Cartman said innocently.

"I don't know… All that has happened tonight and we haven't even to go out yet."

"But we have! I found two tickets for pro wrestling last night and my mom I spent last night with you!"

"I suppose…I don't know if I'm ready…" Cartman was about to say something but Kyle threw his hand up to silence him and continued, "But I'd like to give it a try."

"Sweet."

"What should we do?"

"I'm not sure… why don't we start making out and see where that takes u-"Cartman was silenced when Kyle threw himself on Cartman and grabbed his lips with his own.

They picked up where they left off before Kenny interrupted earlier. Kyle's hand snaked down Cartman's pants but before he could reach anything Cartman stopped him.

"Why did you stop me?" Kyle whined as they went up for air.

"Because you need the happiness more than I do right," The voice in his head did not give any opposition to this statement. Cartman started to go lower and lower and let down Kyle's sweatpants.

"Okay," Kyle said in a shallow breath.

Cartman completely took Kyle's pants and boxers off. He then traced his fingers on Kyle's creamy thighs, making nonsensical patterns for five minutes, teasing him by getting close to Kyle's hardening penis and get before touching them went back down his thigh.

It drove Kyle insane, his need was great and Cartman was just making it worse, "Please, stop teasing," Kyle moaned.

"What is that my horny Jew? Oh all right," Cartman said in the sweetest voice he could muster up and with that he roughly grabbed hold of Kyle's favorite body part.

"Oh my go-"Kyle started when Cartman started to pump vigorously, his hand went up and down so fast and hard that Kyle couldn't remain quite, " Ah, oh god, oh god, yes, yes, harder, harder….Cartman…ahhhh…oh…ahh," Kyle moaned and scream louder and louder with each passing move of Cartman's hand. Kyle's screaming caused Cartman to get hard and he started to rub against Kyle's leg causing a sensation overload to Kyle. With one last harsh pump Kyle screamed, "Cartman!" and came on Cartman's hand and chest. Cartman quickly followed with a loud grunt all over Kyle's leg.

"That was killer," Cartman said.

"Yeah," Kyle was so relaxed in the after glow he didn't realize Cartman had a condom and lube in his hand. "What're you doing?"

"Preparing myself… it kills me to get fucked by a Jew but this is your night," Cartman said with a wince.

"Thank you," Kyle said.

"Yeah well don't get used to it because the second you're better I'm fucking your ass like there's no tomorrow," Cartman said.

"Yeah sure Cartman," they both could hear the doubt in Kyle's voice and Cartman saw a glitter of sadness in those beautiful green eyes.

To distract Kyle Cartman grabbed Kyle's cock to get him hard again and put a condom on him, Kyle's eyes now glimmered in anticipation. Kyle started to stretch Cartman and said, "This feels like I've done this before. Dude, do you think we're in a repeat?"

"I feel like you've done this to me before also… I hate repeats…"

"What do you think we did then?"

"Well think logically dumb ass! What do you think we did after we were prepared for sex?!"

"I know, I know, I'm just getting used to the idea we might have been together before today."

"Yeah, yeah, excuses excuses."

"Shut up fat boy. I'm going to shove my hand up your ass so I don't hurt my penis if I find something there, got it?"

"Yeah just get it over with." With that Kyle shoved as much of his hand up Cartman's ass as he could. It was the weirdest feeling ever. He dug his way up slowly hoping Cartman's ass was clean. Something he didn't think about before he was about to stick his penis in there.

Cartman did not look comfortable, "Kyle could you please try to hurry and find what you're looking for."

"Hold on- wait I feel- ah-"Kyle pulled his hand out as a giant satellite came out of Cartman's ass. Kyle wasn't completely unscathed, the tips of his fingers were shredded and Kyle started to suckle them. "What the hell," Kyle said though it sounded distorted because he had the fingers in his mouth.

* * *

In a flash the boys were on the spaceship again.

The giant taco that crapped ice cream walked in looking utterly pissed, "That is the third time in two days! The last happening just two hours ago! What is wrong with male boys!"

"What is going?" Kyle asked.

"You activated the communication in your friend's ass, again! Do you know how much money this costs us?! Do you want to be cancelled!?"

"I still don't-"

"Why is there a giant metal thing in my ass?" Cartman yelled. The alien closed the satellite and it shot up Cartman's ass once more, "Thank you I guess," Cartman grumbled in pain.

"You're one of the few perfect hosts on earth to carry this satellite! Why do you two insist on having sex?"

"Because we're horny dirty boys who like each other," Kyle said.

"But why do you have to have relations in Cartman's ass!"

Kyle burst into tears as Cartman said, "Great you made my boyfriend cry! He has cancer and we can't risk opening the hemorrhoid score on his ass to get infected it again! He would die possibly." Cartman grabbed hold ofKyle and started to comfort him but pondered how he knew about Kyle's hemorroid. He didn't know Kyle had a hemorroid before.

"So if he was cured you'd stop disrupting the satielitte?"

"Possibly but we still haven't decided who likes to take it more," Cartman said.

"Earthlings are impossible!" the taco screamed.

"Could you cure Kyle?"

"Yes but we don't like intervening in earthly woes."

"But can't you make an exception?"

"I have to ask the head bosses hold on." The taco called the Jewzians on Gilgamesh.

"Yes the boys who saved the show…mm hmm… yes those ones…yeah…are you sure? Okay I'll tell them," the taco turned back to them. "They said since you saved the show they will let me cure you but you won't remember this and it will be a gradual recovery and seem normal. No more ass fucking the fat one after we wipe your memories though."

"How will we know if you_" Kyle started but a flash of light cut them off and they woke in Kyle's bed together.

* * *

"I had this bogus dream last night," Cartman said.

"Me too but we have to get ready…Kenny will be here soon."

"Yeah all right," Cartman said with a sigh and they both were dressed and ready by the time Kenny got to the house.

* * *

_Did you really think I could kill Kyle? Tsk tsk. Ummm there will be like one more appearance of aliens? Yeah I think only one more and it will go back to sorta reality again...Sorry if it's abrupt I'm tired and I just wanted to get through the aliens without getting repeatitive, I had to end them for the most part this chapter. Reviews please!_


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